Ceremony - Andrea and Christiaan's Wedding Site

The Celebration
of
Marriage
of
Andrea Jane Sampson
and
Christiaan van Woudenberg
on
July 11, 1999

Witnesses : Laurel Sampson
Raphael Bar-Or

Chaplain : Norma Drosdowech
First Unitarian Universalist Church of Winnipeg

There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.
Martin Luther

Setting : Winnipeg Art Gallery

Prelude : Musical Quartet

Processional : Following the chaplain's announcements, Christiaan and Raphael will join Norma at the front. The bridal party will enter: Saskia van Woudenberg will enter first and stand beside Raphael; Charis Kepron, Heather Finlay and Aidan Topping will enter followed by Maid of Honour, Laurel Sampson. Andrea will enter with her father.

Opening Words : Family and friends, I welcome you to this day of celebration. Andrea Jane Sampson and Christiaan van Woudenberg have invited us to share in this public declaration of their private vows to one another.
It is one of life's richest surprises when the accidental meeting of two life paths leads them to proceed together along a common path as husband and wife. As we discussed ideas for this service Andrea and Christiaan shared with me their meeting in Denver, Colorado after Andrea's rather whimsical decision to visit her grandparents. Whatever we want to call it - chance, fate, karma, destiny, or simply a grandmother's matchmaking skills - some special force brought these two people together. The love that has grown between them makes us all glad to be be here on this wonderful day.
Richard Gilbert writes of love : LOVE IS A DECISION . Love is more than a feeling. Love is more than an affair of the heart. It is an act of will - It is a decision - commitment - a promise -A covenant...From almost the minute that Andrea and Christiaan met, the knew they were destined to live their lives together. And their decision for love, their commitment to one another has seen them through some of the ups and downs and sharp turns that come to all relationships.
As we gather to witness the union of Andrea and Christiaan, we are glad that they have made a decision for love. Christiaan and Andrea, it is a great joy and pleasure for me to be standing here with you on this momentous day, sharing in your marriage ceremony , and witnessing to the life long commitment you are making to one another .
When a commitment this strong is made by two people like you, the force of that commitment, of that love, of that courage, reaches out and touches all of us around you, so that our lives are changed and we share a part of your love. Like a stone dropped in a still pond, the ripples of the love from this celebration extend and change the world we live in.

Blessing the Marriage : As nurturers of their spirits and givers of gifts to their lives, both families have contributed to the growth of love and trust between Andrea and Christiaan. From the esteem in which you hold them both and the love you feel so deeply for them, I ask that you join in bestowing your blessings upon their future.
I now ask Andrea's parents, Mike and Janet, and her sister, Laurel; Christiaan's parents, Els and Walter, and his sister, Saskia to come forward.
Do you, who know and care for Andrea and Christiaan, give them now your blessings as they enter into marriage and do you pledge in the days and years ahead to give them your deepest love, understanding, support, guidance and friendship as they continue to explore the depths of their relationship ? If so, please respond by declaring: "We give them our blessings and our support".
Response : We give them our blessings and our support.

Candlelighting : Saskia and Laurel will resume their places as the parents light two single tapers representing Andrea and Christiaan.

Reading : Andrea and Christiaan find meaning in the words of the poet who writes: "Marriage is a fusion of two hearts - the union of two lives - the coming together of two tributaries, which after being joined in marriage, will flow in the same channel in the same direction ... carrying the same burdens and obligation." They find meaning also in the words of the Shakespearean sonnet Aidan Topping will now share with us:

Sonnet 116 - William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this is error, and upon me prov'd,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd

Declaration of Consent : Christiaan and Andrea, you come before us to declare your love for one another, believing that as Paul wrote to the Corinthians : Love is always patient and kind, it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish, it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasures in other people's sins but delights in the truth, it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end
Chaplain: Christiaan and Andrea, will you now join hands each to each .
Christiaan, do you take this woman whose hand you now hold, choosing her alone to be your wife ? Will you love her with tenderness, comfort her with kindness, and respect her with understanding throughout your lives ?
Christiaan : I do.
Andrea, do you take this man whose hand you now hold, choosing him alone to be your husband ? Will you love him with tenderness, comfort him with kindness, and respect him with understanding throughout your lives.
Andrea : I do.

Candlelighting : Andrea and Christiaan, the symbolism of the unity candles reminds us that in a marriage relationship, there are three parts. Each of you as separate individual beings with your own histories, practices and beliefs make up two parts of the relationship - symbolized here by the two candles which your parents lit as they offered you their blessings. A third part is created by the joining of the two of you in this marriage relationship, symbolized by the larger candle of Unity. I ask you to take the two candles that represent each of you, and together, light the unity candle, which represents your marriage relationship. Care for this light. Rejoice in it. Make it a light truly creative in your lives and the larger life of which all of us are a part. May this light guide you on your life's journey together. The light of this candle reflects the love that you bring to one another in marriage.

Introduction to Vows: Christiaan and Andrea, today,you have made one of the biggest decisions of your life, to commit yourself in love to the other; to become married. You know that the world may not always treat you kindly but you intend to be kind and considerate of each other, to be honest with one another and to share the responsibilities of care and devotion to your relationship.
In marriage, two persons turn to each other in search of a greater fulfillment than either can achieve alone. Marriage is a going forth, a bold step into the future; it is risking what we are for the sake of what we yet can be. There will be times as you learn and grow and travel together that your commitment will be challenged and the path together will seem difficult, but let your eyes and your words continue to show your love.
Keep your hearts and your minds open and change as change is required. Only in giving oneself and sharing with another can the mysterious process of growth take place. Only in loyalty and devotion bestowed upon one another can that which is eternal in life emerge and be known. Love is a living thing, waiting within each of us for an awakening touch. In this ceremony, we celebrate love come to life and rejoice in its presence among us.
May your love grow sure and straight and strong in all the days of your live. And as you build your life together, may your home be bright with the laughter of family and of many friends for I know how important they are to both of you; may it be a haven from the tensions of our time and a wellspring of strength; and in all the world may it be the one place you most want to be.
And now Andrea and Christiaan, as you make your promises to each other, may you make them with honesty and sincerity. I remind you that the vows you are about to say to one anther belong entirely to you. The words I speak have no magical powers, and nothing that I can say or do on this day can ultimately make your marriage endure with beauty, fidelity, and joy. Only you, by the integrity and diligence of your love can make these vows last.So will you now please join a hand each to each and make your vows to one another.
Andrea will hand her flowers to Laurel and join hands with Christiaan.
Christiaan: I, Christiaan, take you Andrea to be my wife, my partner, and my best friend. I promise to love you without reservation or judgment. All that I am is yours, until the end of time. I will be there to fulfil your dreams, to laugh with life's joys, to cry with its sorrows, to reap in its rewards. I give myself to you without reservation, to embark on life's journey knowing that wherever it leads us, whatever may happen, that we will be held together by the bonds of our friendship and love.
Andrea: I take you, Christiaan to be my husband, and promise to walk by you forever - as your best friend and your soul mate. My love for you will transcend the boundaries of time and place, and I will remain true to our love no matter where our journeys take us. I promise to stand with you through times of celebration and times of difficulty. I promise to support and respect your ambitions and help you fulfil your dreams. I promise you a life full of love, friendship, laughter and adventure. Above all, I promise to love you for my whole life, true to the tradition that we have inherited from our families.

Exchange of Rings : Chaplain: Black Elk, an Oglala Sioux, has written : "Everything the Power of the world does is done in a circle. The sky is round and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball and so are the stars. The wind in its greatest power whirls. Birds make their nest in circles for theirs is the same religion as ours. The sun comes forth and goes down again in a circle. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man or a woman is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves."
The circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe. It is a symbol of holiness and of perfection and of peace. In this ring it is the symbol of unity, in which your two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle, in which, wherever you go, you will always return unto one another to your togetherness.
Christiaan will receive Andrea's ring from Raphael and place it on her finger:
Christiaan: I give you this ring that you may wear it as a symbol of our unity and as a sign of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my undying devotion.
Andrea will receive Christiaan's ring from Laurel and place it on his finger:
Andrea: I give you this ring that you may wear it as a symbol of our unity and as a sign of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my undying devotion.

Proclamation of the marriage : Now in as much as you have accepted the vows by which you have declared your love, and as you have pledged yourselves in the giving and receiving of rings in the presence of this company, it is therefore my joyful task, as a Chaplain of the Unitarian Universalist church of Winnipeg to declare that you are husband and wife.

The Kiss: You may now kiss each other.

Signing of the registry : The bride and groom, the two witnesses and the Chaplain will each sign the two documents : Christiaan, Andrea, Raphael, Laurel, Norma.
Following the signing, the wedding party will move back into their places for the benediction and presentation of the bride and groom.

Song : "Let It Be So" - performed by Rob and Nancy Finlay

Benediction: Andrea and Christiaan, today, we have witnessed your intention to travel together in marriage, laughing and crying and playing together, interconnected, but each retaining your own body, heart, mind, soul and spirit. Continue to believe in what is yours, believe in who you are, believe in the richness and the power of what lies in the depths you share as husband and wife. And now as you go out from this place, may the blessings of those around you keep you together always in understanding, tenderness, and love. Go now in great happiness assured that all our hearts go with you.
It is with love that I offer you this aboriginal blessing, a song of the Apache:
May you feel no rain, for each of you will be a shelter to the other.
May you feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.
May there be no loneliness for you.
Now you are two bodies, but there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling-place, to enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good, and long upon the earth.

Presentation of the Bride and Groom : Friends and family, it is with the greatest of pleasure that I present to you as husband and wife: Christiaan and Andrea van Woudenberg

Recessional The bride and groom exit down the aisle while the guests blow bubbles.

Witnesses :	Laurel Sampson Raphael Bar-Or
Chaplain :	Norma Drosdowech First Unitarian Universalist Church of Winnipeg
There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. Martin Luther
Setting :	Winnipeg Art Gallery
Prelude :	Musical Quartet
Processional :	Following the chaplain's announcements, Christiaan and Raphael will join Norma at the front. The bridal party will enter: Saskia van Woudenberg will enter first and stand beside Raphael; Charis Kepron, Heather Finlay and Aidan Topping will enter followed by Maid of Honour, Laurel Sampson. Andrea will enter with her father.
Opening Words :	Family and friends, I welcome you to this day of celebration. Andrea Jane Sampson and Christiaan van Woudenberg have invited us to share in this public declaration of their private vows to one another. It is one of life's richest surprises when the accidental meeting of two life paths leads them to proceed together along a common path as husband and wife. As we discussed ideas for this service Andrea and Christiaan shared with me their meeting in Denver, Colorado after Andrea's rather whimsical decision to visit her grandparents. Whatever we want to call it - chance, fate, karma, destiny, or simply a grandmother's matchmaking skills - some special force brought these two people together. The love that has grown between them makes us all glad to be be here on this wonderful day. Richard Gilbert writes of love : LOVE IS A DECISION . Love is more than a feeling. Love is more than an affair of the heart. It is an act of will - It is a decision - commitment - a promise -A covenant...From almost the minute that Andrea and Christiaan met, the knew they were destined to live their lives together. And their decision for love, their commitment to one another has seen them through some of the ups and downs and sharp turns that come to all relationships. As we gather to witness the union of Andrea and Christiaan, we are glad that they have made a decision for love. Christiaan and Andrea, it is a great joy and pleasure for me to be standing here with you on this momentous day, sharing in your marriage ceremony , and witnessing to the life long commitment you are making to one another . When a commitment this strong is made by two people like you, the force of that commitment, of that love, of that courage, reaches out and touches all of us around you, so that our lives are changed and we share a part of your love. Like a stone dropped in a still pond, the ripples of the love from this celebration extend and change the world we live in.
Blessing the Marriage :	As nurturers of their spirits and givers of gifts to their lives, both families have contributed to the growth of love and trust between Andrea and Christiaan. From the esteem in which you hold them both and the love you feel so deeply for them, I ask that you join in bestowing your blessings upon their future. I now ask Andrea's parents, Mike and Janet, and her sister, Laurel; Christiaan's parents, Els and Walter, and his sister, Saskia to come forward. Do you, who know and care for Andrea and Christiaan, give them now your blessings as they enter into marriage and do you pledge in the days and years ahead to give them your deepest love, understanding, support, guidance and friendship as they continue to explore the depths of their relationship ? If so, please respond by declaring: "We give them our blessings and our support". Response : We give them our blessings and our support.
Candlelighting :	Saskia and Laurel will resume their places as the parents light two single tapers representing Andrea and Christiaan.
Reading :	Andrea and Christiaan find meaning in the words of the poet who writes: "Marriage is a fusion of two hearts - the union of two lives - the coming together of two tributaries, which after being joined in marriage, will flow in the same channel in the same direction ... carrying the same burdens and obligation." They find meaning also in the words of the Shakespearean sonnet Aidan Topping will now share with us: Sonnet 116 - William Shakespeare Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark, That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come; Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this is error, and upon me prov'd, I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd
Declaration of Consent :	Christiaan and Andrea, you come before us to declare your love for one another, believing that as Paul wrote to the Corinthians : Love is always patient and kind, it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish, it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasures in other people's sins but delights in the truth, it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end Chaplain: Christiaan and Andrea, will you now join hands each to each . Christiaan, do you take this woman whose hand you now hold, choosing her alone to be your wife ? Will you love her with tenderness, comfort her with kindness, and respect her with understanding throughout your lives ? Christiaan : I do. Andrea, do you take this man whose hand you now hold, choosing him alone to be your husband ? Will you love him with tenderness, comfort him with kindness, and respect him with understanding throughout your lives. Andrea : I do.
Candlelighting :	Andrea and Christiaan, the symbolism of the unity candles reminds us that in a marriage relationship, there are three parts. Each of you as separate individual beings with your own histories, practices and beliefs make up two parts of the relationship - symbolized here by the two candles which your parents lit as they offered you their blessings. A third part is created by the joining of the two of you in this marriage relationship, symbolized by the larger candle of Unity. I ask you to take the two candles that represent each of you, and together, light the unity candle, which represents your marriage relationship. Care for this light. Rejoice in it. Make it a light truly creative in your lives and the larger life of which all of us are a part. May this light guide you on your life's journey together. The light of this candle reflects the love that you bring to one another in marriage.
Introduction to Vows:	Christiaan and Andrea, today,you have made one of the biggest decisions of your life, to commit yourself in love to the other; to become married. You know that the world may not always treat you kindly but you intend to be kind and considerate of each other, to be honest with one another and to share the responsibilities of care and devotion to your relationship. In marriage, two persons turn to each other in search of a greater fulfillment than either can achieve alone. Marriage is a going forth, a bold step into the future; it is risking what we are for the sake of what we yet can be. There will be times as you learn and grow and travel together that your commitment will be challenged and the path together will seem difficult, but let your eyes and your words continue to show your love. Keep your hearts and your minds open and change as change is required. Only in giving oneself and sharing with another can the mysterious process of growth take place. Only in loyalty and devotion bestowed upon one another can that which is eternal in life emerge and be known. Love is a living thing, waiting within each of us for an awakening touch. In this ceremony, we celebrate love come to life and rejoice in its presence among us. May your love grow sure and straight and strong in all the days of your live. And as you build your life together, may your home be bright with the laughter of family and of many friends for I know how important they are to both of you; may it be a haven from the tensions of our time and a wellspring of strength; and in all the world may it be the one place you most want to be. And now Andrea and Christiaan, as you make your promises to each other, may you make them with honesty and sincerity. I remind you that the vows you are about to say to one anther belong entirely to you. The words I speak have no magical powers, and nothing that I can say or do on this day can ultimately make your marriage endure with beauty, fidelity, and joy. Only you, by the integrity and diligence of your love can make these vows last.So will you now please join a hand each to each and make your vows to one another. Andrea will hand her flowers to Laurel and join hands with Christiaan. Christiaan: I, Christiaan, take you Andrea to be my wife, my partner, and my best friend. I promise to love you without reservation or judgment. All that I am is yours, until the end of time. I will be there to fulfil your dreams, to laugh with life's joys, to cry with its sorrows, to reap in its rewards. I give myself to you without reservation, to embark on life's journey knowing that wherever it leads us, whatever may happen, that we will be held together by the bonds of our friendship and love. Andrea: I take you, Christiaan to be my husband, and promise to walk by you forever - as your best friend and your soul mate. My love for you will transcend the boundaries of time and place, and I will remain true to our love no matter where our journeys take us. I promise to stand with you through times of celebration and times of difficulty. I promise to support and respect your ambitions and help you fulfil your dreams. I promise you a life full of love, friendship, laughter and adventure. Above all, I promise to love you for my whole life, true to the tradition that we have inherited from our families.
Exchange of Rings :	Chaplain: Black Elk, an Oglala Sioux, has written : "Everything the Power of the world does is done in a circle. The sky is round and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball and so are the stars. The wind in its greatest power whirls. Birds make their nest in circles for theirs is the same religion as ours. The sun comes forth and goes down again in a circle. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man or a woman is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves." The circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe. It is a symbol of holiness and of perfection and of peace. In this ring it is the symbol of unity, in which your two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle, in which, wherever you go, you will always return unto one another to your togetherness. Christiaan will receive Andrea's ring from Raphael and place it on her finger: Christiaan: I give you this ring that you may wear it as a symbol of our unity and as a sign of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my undying devotion. Andrea will receive Christiaan's ring from Laurel and place it on his finger: Andrea: I give you this ring that you may wear it as a symbol of our unity and as a sign of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my undying devotion.
Proclamation of the marriage :	Now in as much as you have accepted the vows by which you have declared your love, and as you have pledged yourselves in the giving and receiving of rings in the presence of this company, it is therefore my joyful task, as a Chaplain of the Unitarian Universalist church of Winnipeg to declare that you are husband and wife.
The Kiss:	You may now kiss each other.
Signing of the registry :	The bride and groom, the two witnesses and the Chaplain will each sign the two documents : Christiaan, Andrea, Raphael, Laurel, Norma. Following the signing, the wedding party will move back into their places for the benediction and presentation of the bride and groom.
Song :	"Let It Be So" - performed by Rob and Nancy Finlay
Benediction:	Andrea and Christiaan, today, we have witnessed your intention to travel together in marriage, laughing and crying and playing together, interconnected, but each retaining your own body, heart, mind, soul and spirit. Continue to believe in what is yours, believe in who you are, believe in the richness and the power of what lies in the depths you share as husband and wife. And now as you go out from this place, may the blessings of those around you keep you together always in understanding, tenderness, and love. Go now in great happiness assured that all our hearts go with you. It is with love that I offer you this aboriginal blessing, a song of the Apache: May you feel no rain, for each of you will be a shelter to the other. May you feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. May there be no loneliness for you. Now you are two bodies, but there is one life before you. Go now to your dwelling-place, to enter into the days of your togetherness. And may your days be good, and long upon the earth.
Presentation of the Bride and Groom :	Friends and family, it is with the greatest of pleasure that I present to you as husband and wife: Christiaan and Andrea van Woudenberg
Recessional	The bride and groom exit down the aisle while the guests blow bubbles.

The Celebration of Marriage of Andrea Jane Sampson and Christiaan van Woudenberg on July 11, 1999

Sonnet 116 - William Shakespeare

The Celebration
of
Marriage
of
Andrea Jane Sampson
and
Christiaan van Woudenberg
on
July 11, 1999